School Plays

As a parent I have, over the years, attended many school plays, nativities and concerts.  As a parent I'm supposed to say that these were all wonderful experiences that made me proud, and that they were all precious moments that I will cherish for ever as I think back on the formative years of all my beautiful daughters.  However, as a parent I have taught my children to be honest, and it’s something I feel is a very important principle to live by.  So let me be honest.  Some of those concerts and plays were just the most mind numbingly boring and excruciatingly awful moments of my life.  Obviously my girls are enormously talented and just shone out in whichever way they were taking part, and if the concert I was having to sit through was all being performed by them, then they would have all been the best shows ever.

Now, let me be clear on this, I’m not talking about all the shows or concerts my girls took part in when they were in orchestras or theatre groups, as on the whole these were pretty darn good and very enjoyable, and they weren’t the only talented ones there.  No, I’m talking about school plays and concerts where everyone had to take part despite that fact that some of the children clearly didn’t want to be there and even more clearly had no talent whatsoever.  I’m talking squeaky recorders, out of tune brass groups, guitar ensembles that couldn’t play in time with each other, violins that, well, you know, kids on violins, and orchestras that didn’t seem to understand the concept of staying in tune, and I’m supposed to sit there and smile and act like it’s the best thing ever, and I did try to, but on the inside I died a little each time.  As the girls got older, the performances got better because the groups they were involved in were more practiced and more dedicated.

Tonight I went to daughter number four’s A ’level drama performance.  Katy wasn’t acting herself, but she had designed and built the stage set and lighting for one of the groups which she has been given an A for.  Nice one Katy.  Anyway, the pieces the two groups were performing were expressionist theatre, or in other words, a bit weird and designed to make you feel uncomfortable and have deep thoughts about the subject matter.  They were cheery little presentations about schizophrenia and prostitutes.  Now, I have to say this is not my idea of an entertaining evening, in fact, when the first group started the thought that ran through my head was “oh my goodness, I’m going to have to sit through about twenty minutes of this shiz”.  This was the schizophrenia piece.  A couple of the girls gave some decent performances in parts, but on the whole it was just too bizarre for my taste.

The prostitutes were much more likeable.  This was Katy’s group.  Whilst this piece also tackled a difficult subject, it was less “out there”.  It made much more sense, and I really enjoyed the portrayal of the different characters.  It was designed to show the girls as birds in cages, on display.  Throughout the performance you got to hear a monologue by each of them telling their story.  This for me was much more powerful than the first group who just seemed to spend most of the time crawling around the floor and repeating the same things over and over again and all at the same time.  All in all, I prefer my theatre with a proper story and a happy ending.