My (Les) Miserable Journey

The first time I heard any music from Les Miserable was about 20 years ago, and I had no idea what it was.  I friend of mine was putting on a concert in Chorley and needed a few extra voices for some of the bigger numbers and "Do you hear the people sing" was one of them.  She sent over the music for me to practice and I fell in love with it the first time I played it, without knowing anything else about it.  It just gave me chills and nearly brought me to tears every time I sang it.

Shortly after this the stage production came to Manchester and I just had to go and see it.  I went on my own one night because no one else was interested in going to a musical.  This was the first time I had been to a theatre in years.  I was entranced from the opening bars, and I still say that the Jean Valjean in that production is the best I have heard.  I had never seen anything like it before and I still haven't. The way the barricades appeared on stage and the sound of the trumpets as the soldiers call to the young revolutionaires are two of my favourite moments.  Javert singing Stars and Valjean with Bring him Home.   I was in tears at the end, and I wasn't alone.  That final scene moved me so much.  The staging of it; the music; the feelings I had for the characters after watching them for two and a half hours.

The next time it really affected my life was about eight years later when the production came to Manchester again. Rebekah was ten years old and we heard about them having open auditions to find girls to play the young Cosette.  As you probably know, Rebekah has been a pretty good performer from a young age and jumped at the chance of being in a professional production.  The auditions were at the Bridgewater Hall and the first thing you had to do was pass the height requirement test.  There were people on the door with a height marker and as the girls entered the building they had to be below the line.  Some poor things got turned away because they were too tall.  Rebekah was just short enough.

There were several rounds of auditions on the day with successful girls getting called back.  Rebekah passed the first round and then we found out we needed a passport size photo to go on her audition form, so we had to leg it into Manchester centre to find a photo booth to have one taken.  I still carry that photo around in my purse.

She did very well and got down to the final six girls out of several hundred.  Unfortunately she didn't make the final cut.

When the production opened, Robert and I went to see it. This was our first theatre experience together. Something we didn't get to repeat until many years later, but now we go as often as we can.  Of course we scrutinized the performance of the young Cosette on the night, and I know my Bekah could have been just as good if not better.  Once again I cried at the end, and this time Robert was crying with me.

Four more years and it touched me again.  BASICS theatre school were putting on the school production for their show that year.  All my girls, apart from Kirsty, have been involved in BASICS, and Rebekah was thrilled to get the chance to be in it.  She didn't get a principal role, but even so she gave it her all in the chorus.  These are just teenagers, albeit talented ones, but not professionals and not fully mature.  Having said that, the show was wonderful with some excellent performances by these young people.  Yet again I cried at the end.  This time it was also because I was so proud of the kids that I knew.

I've had the opportunity to perform some of the music several times myself in concerts with different choirs I have been involved in.  I still find it some of the most moving and stirring music I have ever heard.

With apologies to my older girls, Katy has been quite spoilt since they left home, simply because we have a bit more cash available these days, so she gets to do things that they never did.  I do feel bad about this sometimes, but what can I do?  When they were young, we were pretty skint.  I mention this because we took Katy to London to see Les Mis, about 18 months ago during their 25th year in the West End.  The whole trip was a surprise.  We didn't tell her where we were going or why.  When we got on the train at Preston she figured out where we were going but still didn't know why.  We went out for something to eat in Covent Garden and then walked to the theatre, still not telling her where we were going.  We were a bit early for the performance so as we walked down Shaftesbury Avenue we went past the theatre and carried on walking.  Katy was very confused by this time as she had started to think we were going to the theatre but couldn't work out why we were going past them all.  Eventually we turned round and went back and in.  She was literally jumping for joy when she finally knew.  This time I didn't cry at the end.

When I heard that they were making a film of it I was very sceptical.  How could it possibly live up to the theatre experiences I had had so far?  Then I started to hear snippets of it and again thought maybe I would give it a miss as the singing was just not going to measure up.  But of course it was Les Mis. so I couldn't resist, especially after I found out that all the singing was done live rather than recorded in a studio and added to the soundtrack later.  The actors sung to a piano track as they were filmed and the orchestra was put in post production.  Of course it had to be experienced in Imax.

It was better than I expected it to be, although I still don't know why on earth Russell Crowe was cast as Javert.  His voice was just not on the same level as everyone else.  Katy was unfortunately sitting next to someone who couldn't help himself from singing and whistling (yes whistling!) along.  I was singing along in my head and I think I noticed every time they had changed the words around or missed a bit out.  I didn't love everything about it and it had its faults, but on the whole it was a success.  I didn't cry, but I could hear people who did.

Am I at the end of my Les Miserable journey, or will it continue to be a part of my life?

A Subtle Shift

When my older three girls were little we didn't have cable TV, just the normal terrestrial channels.  There were many good and not so good programmes for them to watch, and for me to endure.  Then along came cable and a whole new world of children's entertainment.  This was fine for a while, but then Katy got older and discovered all the America shows aimed at teenagers.  I'm talking about iCarly, Wizards of Waverley Place, Victorious, Sweet Life of Zach and Cody, Sunny with a Chance etc, etc, etc.  They were loud and annoying and were on endlessly.

When I got home from work she would be watching them, one after the other.  Switching channels every half an hour to catch her favourites.  Now this is her house and she needs to have some freedom to watch her choice of television, but each day I would get to a point where enough was enough and I had to make her switch it off.

A few months ago, I came to realise that when I got home tired and hungry at 5:30 each night, I was no longer being bombarded with American kids being, well, America.  I'm not entirely sure when the shift happened as it was like when you suddenly realise that annoying headache has gone. You're not sure exactly when, you just know it's not there any more.

Now when I got home she was watching shows like QI, Top Gear or Friends, and a current favourite Man versus Food.  I feel this is a big step in her development and can only be a good thing.  Although I have to admit I did get converted to iCarly, and missed that one for a while.

Christmas and New Year

Two days before Christmas a friend asked me what we were doing this year. I said "nothing much", as I usually do, on the assumption that my life is uneventful and pretty hum drum.  Then I thought about it and realised that actually we were going to be quite busy this year.

Christmas eve was the Taylor family annual "let's eat lots of food and watch all the kids have fun" party.  This is always a good time.  All the cousins get to be together and us adults get to watch them being cute (even the teenagers), and have a laugh with each other.  This year my two bigger girls, Kirsty and Rebekah, were able to be there, and it was nice to see Kirsty connecting with Richard's oldest daughter Ciera.

Big Girls and little cousins

Katy and some little boy cousins

Katy and some little girl cousins

Christmas eve also saw the start of our advent calendars.  I had decided that I didn't want chocolate ones this year and when I saw the Lego advent calendars in the shop I couldn't resist.  I was supposed to buy one for the three of us at home to share, but I came out of the shop with two.  We really enjoyed opening these each day and adding to our Lego Christmas scenes. Although Katy was a little disappointed to be honest.  Her calendar was called Lego Friends but it only had two people in it.  Mine and Robert's was full of little people.

Katy's calendar day 1

Our calendar day 1

The completed calendars

Christmas day was a little different this year as Kim had decided to go to Australia with her boyfriend.  When Katy found out about this she declared that Kim had ruined Christmas.  Then it was my turn to have this accusation laid on me as we bought an artificial tree this year instead of a real one for the first time since I left home 29 years ago.  There was sound reasoning for this decision and all the girls did admit once it was decorated that it was a good tree despite not being real.

The tree that nearly ruined Christmas

Kim was replaced by Robert's brother Edward at our house on Christmas day.  My girls had been threatening to call him Kim all day but I don't think they actually did this to his face.

We started a tradition a few years ago to try and do something different with the labels on everyone's presents.  So far we have had baby photos, dates of birth, anagrams and dingbats.  The first thing everyone has to do is figure out what the labels mean and then decide which label is theirs before they can begin opening presents.  We stumped them for a while this year, and it was Edward who figured out that the labels were name meanings.

Googling their names.  You can see Katy's arm going up as she found out her name
meaning.

Opening presents always takes a while at our house, and some of the presents are well packaged/disguised with bubble wrap.  This delighted Kirsty and Edward in particular and produced one of my favourite photos this year.

Never mind the presents that people spent money buying us, just give me some bubble wrap.

Katy has a little bit of a penguin obsession at the moment, and I think it's fairly safe to say that this was her favourite present this year.

Awesome penguin onesie.

++++

The oldies at Christmas

Bekah.

We managed to speak to Kim via video chat on Facebook.  It was about 9:30pm in Brisbane and she was all full of Christmas dinner and nearly ready for bed as her body clock was still struggling to adjust to the time difference.

Boxing day was Jim and Liz and the boys day.  I had made the mistake of buying Robert presents he actually wanted this year, one of which was Risk Lord of the Rings edition, so the boys spent quite a large chunk of the afternoon playing it.  Liz, Katy and I retired to the lounge for a girly chat and had a go on one of Robert's other presents which was a quiz that you could play on his iPad with individual buzzers for each player.  It was pretty good, and we got quite competitive.  We also went back to their house to take their dog Copper out for a walk and when we returned, the boys had just finished playing their game. 

Kim's present to Robert was a magecube which is basically a cube made up of little magnetic balls that you can manipulate into all sorts of shapes.  It comes in a tin in a perfect cube shape, but when Kim got it, she couldn't resist playing with it and then couldn't get it back into a perfect cube shape.  She gave up and just rammed it back into the tin in a cubish shape.  I think we all attempted to get it back into a cube, but Matthew succeeded (with advice from Jim). Good times.

The next few days were something quite new for us.  Robert's sister Sarah and her husband had been given the chance to go away for a few days for free, and she asked us if we could look after her three year old, Darcy.  Being the youngest of five children and not having any little cousins around, I've not had a lot of experience of looking after other peoples children.  Now, I know what to do with a three year old, it's not like I'm too old to remember, but it's something different when the three year old doesn't belong to you, and she's never spent so much time alone with us before.  As it turns out it she was a delight to have around.  We raided the loft to see what toys we still had up there, and a large box of Barbie dolls and various Barbie paraphernalia went down a treat.

Katy and Darcy and Barbies

Apart from a couple of meal times when she declared she didn't like the food before she had even tasted it, and having to use some bribery and distraction techniques, all was good.  When coming down stairs on the third day she declared "this is the best Christmas ever". OK so she's only three and doesn't have a lot to go on, but it was just so darn cute.

After Darcy went home we had an evening to relax before heading down to London on New Year's eve.  Ever since they started doing big firework displays from the London Eye we had wanted to go down and finally decided to do it this year.  Thanks to Rebekah working for the IHG hotel group we get a discount on rooms, so can afford to stay in some of the nicer hotels without spending too much.  I know this is only a job while she is at university, but she can never leave.

The drive down was no fun as it rained quite heavily most of the way, but by the time we left the hotel to get in place to watch the display it had stopped, and despite the forecast saying it would rain again later, it stayed dry for the rest of the evening.  We didn't manage to get down to the riverside as we weren't there early enough, but we still managed to see most of the display and were next to Big Ben to hear the chimes at midnight first hand.

It was about 1:30am by the time we got back to the hotel and we were all feeling a little peckish, so decided to indulge in a little room service.  We had some very nice burgers.  Proper beef with shredded bacon and cheese, cooked like a burger should be cooked.  

By the time we woke up later that day it was nearly time to check out.  It was a little colder than the day before, but it was a beautiful sunny winter's day, and although we were tired on the drive home and had to make a few stops, we still managed to arrive safe and sound just after 6:30.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is that Christmas and New Year were a lot of fun.

Resolutions for 2013?  To carry on being awesome, and blog more often.

So, how did I do?

At the beginning of this year I wrote on my blog about trying to lose weight, and as it's nearly the end of the year I thought it was time to report on my endeavours.

This year I signed up for a free twelve week healthy eating and exercise course at my local leisure centre, which helped me to get going.  Once the course had finished I rejoined the gym and I'm happy to report that until the last few weeks, I have been a regular visitor there.

After the course ended I attempted to go it alone as I'd had a good start.  However, as usual, I found I needed more than my own internal motivation and joined (again) a weekly slimming club as I need that weigh in at the meeting to keep me on track.  It's that thought of being accountable to someone who is going to write my weight on a tangible record that helps me to keep a bit more focussed.

I haven't lost a lot of weight, but I am lighter than I was at the beginning of the year, and I feel that my muscles are remembering what they are there for.  Even my arms have toned a little.  I am certainly fitter than I was at the beginning of the year and will be back at the gym in January.

Did I do as well as I'd hoped?  No, I haven't.  Am I finishing the year in a better place than I was at the beginning?  Yes I am.  Am I taking that as a win?  You betcha I am.

Birthday Cake for Breakfast

It's becoming quite a tradition in our house to have birthday cake for breakfast due to busy schedules and fleeting visits from daughters these days.  If we didn't have it for breakfast on someone's birthday, we wouldn't have it at all, and apparently my daughters think this would not be acceptable.  Today is Kirsty's birthday, and what a good way to start a Monday morning.

Kirsty came home for a visit yesterday afternoon and spent the night so she could be at home on her birthday morning.  I'd like to think that she wanted to start her birthday with her family, but I have a suspicion that it was all about the presents really.

 As it's a Monday we all had to get up fairly early for the official business of the day in order to make sure no one was late for work/school.  Kirsty needed to get a lift back to Preston with Robert as she'd raided the loft for a few of her belongings, including her Christmas tree and decorations.  We told her she'd have to get up first so that we would all have time to get in the bathroom (yes, we are poor and only have one).  She didn't like the sound of that and announced that she would not be bathing and would just put her face on.  Well, she is a student these days, so I suppose it's only to be expected.  Bit skanky though, right?

The great unwashed on her birthday

One of the presents was at Kirsty's request.  Her favourite perfume is Madame by Jean Paul Gaultier. We thought we were in luck as everywhere we saw it, it was on sale, so we knew we could afford to get her some.  However, we found out that the reason it was on sale was because they had discontinued it.  This did not go down well with Kirsty.

Making herself smell better

 So after the presents it's always time for cake.  It's quite a long walk from our kitchen to our living room when carrying a cake with 28 lit candles and trying to make sure they don't go out.  We were concentrating so much we forgot to sing Happy Birthday.  Katy had to remind us.  It took Kirsty a few attempts to blow them all out.  Some of them were very tenacious (if a candle can be tenacious).

Tenacious candles

Time for a nice slice of cake for breakfast before rushing off to work.  Not my own handiwork I'm afraid, but I don't think it mattered.  Kirsty took the rest back to Preston with her.  Best to keep it out of my hands, or rather, belly.

Breakfast

Thought for the day

Thought for the day.

Be kind to each other, and respect each other's individuality.

I think that just about covers it.

Saying Goodbye

Neil Armstrong died on 25th August 2012.  People all around the world are remembering him and his contribution to the history of it.  Susan Taylor died on 25th August 2012 surrounded by her family.  For these people, her contribution to the history of this world is no less important.

Robert got a phone call from his dad to let him know that it was time for the family to go to the hospital and say goodbye.  From this moment on, it seemed important to me to try and remember every detail about the day.  It started raining round about the same time as the phone call, which reminded me of English lessons at school and learning about sympathetic nature background.  Robert contacted each of his brothers and sisters by telephone, and I could hear their reactions as he told them what was happening.  He stayed calm and tried to be reassuring for them as he arranged how to get everyone to the hospital as quickly as possible.  He had to do some internet searching to find Edward who was on a role playing weekend somewhere in the middle of Derbyshire.  When he managed to speak to him, he heard Eddie's reaction and just said "I'm coming to get you".

Robert set off for Derby to bring back Edward, and I drove into town with Katy to fill the car up with petrol ready for the trip to Blackpool where Sue was.  We hadn't spoken much on the three mile journey, but driving down Centenary Way we saw two late teenage girls, one in a wheelchair, and the other one trying to push her up the steep hill, in the rain, with no coats or umbrellas.  They looked odd. Katy and I noticed them at the same time, and looked at each other and had a little giggle.  Then on the other side of the road we saw a thin man with a blue umbrella.  The umbrella was inside out but he was still using it as though it wasn't broken at all and was keeping him dry.  We couldn't help laughing.  I said that maybe he was collecting the rain.  Katy remarked that that's Burnley for you.

Katy and I drove to Blackpool and parked at the hospital.  I didn't have enough change to buy a pay and display ticket, but a very nice young receptionist took my car details so that she could tell security not to ticket my car.  I had spoken to the receptionist because I couldn't see any signs to the department I needed. She directed me down a corridor and when we reached the ITU there was a poster on the door directing us to somewhere else.  A nurse came along and could see we were a little lost.  She asked us where we were going and when I told her, she asked us who we were looking for.  I said "Sue Taylor", and a look came across her face, and then she did a strange little smile.  I could tell that she knew why we were there.  She told us that she was looking after Sue and she would take us there.

Richard, Kim, Eleanor, Sarah and Chris were already there, along with Ron.  Eleanor and Sarah were talking to Sue and holding her hands.  I hadn't seen Sue for a while, and although I had been told she was on oxygen I wasn't quite prepared for how much she was struggling to breath.  Sue called Katy over to her and spoke to her.  It was very difficult for her to say anything as each word had to be whispered after struggling to get enough breath.  Katy told me afterwards that she had said she was to take special care of Anna.

Robert and Eddie were still on their way and Russell, who had been in London with Beth and his boys, was driving back up the country as quickly as he could but was still a few hours away.  We chatted together and to Sue for a while and then one of the nurses asked us to let her have a rest so that she had enough strength to wait for the boys to get there.  Sue had spoken to me, and told me to take care of her boy.  She said other things too, but I couldn't hear her as her voice was very quiet and the machines were making so much noise.  It was such a struggle for her that I couldn't ask her to repeat it, so I just said "ok"  I didn't know what else to say, I just kept saying "it's ok". I held her hand.  I've never held her hand before, but I just did it sort of instinctively.  She occasionally gave instructions, like reminding Ron that he had an appointment to get his hair cut on Tuesday morning, and that the £15 for Ethan's birthday was in a separate account.  "No more medicine", she sounded strongly relieved when she said this.

Sarah started to tell her about the birthday card that she had sent to Robert for his 40th birthday.  Sarah had bought this card when she was working as a nanny in Houston Texas eleven years ago.  She had seen it and thought that it would be perfect for Robert's 40th birthday.  It came back to England with her and had survived several house moves. When she started to tell her I thought to myself that this was a little inappropriate due to the nature of the joke on the card, but she told the story anyway, and Sue laughed.  Remember the film the sixth sense?  Well the card was a picture of a man walking with a young boy, and the boy was saying "I see dead people", and the man said "no, they are just 40 year olds".  Behind all the machines and wires she was still there.  She proved this again later after Robert had arrived.  He had asked me a question and I was bending over him to quietly give him an answer and I was told off for whispering because it was rude.  I replied "why can't I?  She is", and I got the look of amused wide eyed scolding I always got whenever I was being cheeky.

Some of us went out for fresh air occasionally and spent some time in the relative's room talking to each other. Eddie told me how amazing everyone was when he was told that Robert had rung.  His friends packed up all his camping things and someone drove him halfway home to meet Robert so that he could get to Blackpool sooner.  Russell was still on his way, and we were keeping in contact with him so that we would know what time he would get there.  Ron had asked us all to think about if we wanted to be there at the end with Sue.  She didn't want anyone to be there with her unless they wanted to be.  Katy and Eddie didn't want to be in the room so I said I would stay with them.

Sarah and Eleanor sung Primary songs to her for a while. There was just Ron, myself and Richard in the room with her at one point.  Ron asked her if she wanted him to wipe her forehead.  She nodded, so he got a cleansing wipe and started to very gently wipe her head, and then her cheeks and her remaining hair.  She had her eyes closed with her head turned towards him.  He was paying so much attention to what he was doing and was being so gentle.  She opened her eyes to look at him briefly and then closed them again.  She looked relaxed for a few minutes.  Richard was holding her hand and  trying not to show that he was crying a little.  Sue noticed and gestured to Ron to give him a tissue.  Still looking after everyone.  Richard said he had been trying to hide it, but she told him that she would be upset if he wasn't upset.

Russell arrived just after six pm. We went outside to give them some time alone as we had been there with her for several hours.  Once Sue had spoken to everyone she was going to be sedated and made comfortable.  Then they would remove the oxygen mask.  We were told it wouldn't be long after that. Just before this happened, we were all together with her and she said that there should be a family prayer.  We all held hands and Ron said the prayer.  I don't remember what he said.  Katy hugged her grandma and then we left the room.

 I was in the relative's room with Katy.  Eddie had gone outside for air.  Robert came to tell us that they had started the sedation.  We sat there quietly for a while. I thought Katy would be alright on her own for a minute so I went down to be with Robert round his mum's bedside with the others.  Everyone was sitting quietly, some of them holding hands.  Sue was sedated.  I stood behind Robert, just watching Sue like everyone else.  I didn't want to leave but I knew Katy was on her own.  I was about to go back when Katy appeared.  I asked her if she was sure she wanted to be in there. She told me that she had just felt an urge that she should come. Katy was so mature. I worried about her being there with us, but I think she coped so well.

Sue's breathing slowed down and some of us caught each others eyes as we knew how close it was.  Ron was cupping her face in his hands and looking into her eyes the whole time.  Suddenly and quietly he said that he wanted to be alone with her.  We got up and left them.  She slipped away within minutes.

We waited in the relative's room while they washed her and removed all the equipment so that we could say another goodbye.  I suppose they expect people to stay as they had set out chairs round the bed.  We went back in.  Ron walked over to her and didn't pause there for long before he said "that's not Sue".  He didn't need to stay, he knew she wasn't there anymore.  I remember saying to him and Katy that everything she has worked for, she now knows.

I didn't manage to remember every detail. I am sure there are things I have missed that were important to others that were there, but I felt I needed to write this down so that we could remember.  I have tried to put into words to Robert about how I felt, but nothing I say seems adequate to describe my experience.